


Kelly

by uebermensch



Series: postCarD [2]
Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: 4x05, By the Time You Read This, CarDelorme, Cardilorme, Cardinal (TV 2017) Season 3, Cardinal (TV 2017) Season 4, Episode: S04E05 Scott, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Male-Female Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Until the Night, s04e05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24051685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uebermensch/pseuds/uebermensch
Summary: How does Kelly Cardinal arrive at, acknowledge, and advocate for John and Lise? There’s some stuff to dig through, question, and answer. Follow-on to season 3 “By the Time You Read This” and episode 4x05 “Scott”. The story is separate from what happens in my previous work "Feu et Glace".COMPLETE, with two chapters “Autumn” and “Winter." Kelly Cardinal was unharmed during the production of this piece.
Relationships: John Cardinal & Lise Delorme, John Cardinal/Lise Delorme
Series: postCarD [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716949
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. Autumn

**Author's Note:**

> I’m in awe at the writing, and at all of the actors’ portrayals, especially from Campbell and Vanasse. Here, I’m borrowing for a little while the characters by Giles Blunt and the interpretations from Sienna Films and eOne. This has always been a hopeful view for #CarDelorme. It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong; it matters more that I had to give voice to some ideas I had. Finally, I’ve a soft spot for Toronto and parts of central and eastern Ontario.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are a work of transformation, and some things must fall.

He stood at the window admiring the view of the forest. Mid-November was technically still fall, but its dominant colours were now blanketed by early snowfall; you know it’s northern Ontario when flakes appear as early as October. The low afternoon sun cast a warm orange glow on the white birch trees whose reach to the sky always seemed endless. He knew this backyard: those trees, that forest, this land; their house.

Things were changing. And with change came an additional alteration in the state of his knowledge: what he knew, and how he would use his knowledge. Sometimes, the knowledge was a burden, because he could derive insights, and sometimes, they would weigh on hiim. Too often, they were heavy enough to be dangerous, threatening to bury him.

He shook his head, sighed, and turned away from the idyllic scene outside. A slender woman sat comfortably on the living room couch, her hair up in a bun, and busy writing notes from footage obtained from security cameras within the town centre. They were on the chase for suspects on a series of smash-and-grabs causing alarm and concern among shop-owners in the last couple of weeks. Still, this case was a far quieter pursuit in comparison to the depths required to solve and stop a series of gruesome murders.

Around the cozy space were taped boxes, open boxes, several shopping bags filled with clothes, and personal belongings. Although most of Catherine’s belongings had been donated or put into storage, he continued to find memories of her, mixed with his items, scattered throughout the house. Thankfully, Lise remained silent on the matter, her silent commentary revealed only by the placid look on her face or a slight lift of an eyebrow.

He returned to the couch, making a slight noise of irritation by the distraction of his musings.

“Everything okay there?”

He looked over and saw her pen suspended over the notebook. “I’m fine. You saw it, didn’t you.”

_Deft move, changing the topic._ “Yes, I did. We can clearly identify Alain Forte; he’s our guy. You gonna tell me now what’s bothering you?” _See? I can change the topic right back._

“No. At least, not right now.” At her skeptical look, he continued. “It has nothing to do with this case. I’m trying to figure some things out.”

“Okay.” She turned to the screen. “Here’s what I think …”

They exchanged observations and notes about the case for a few minutes until John received a call. He reached into his shirt pocket and dug out his phone. “Cardinal. Hey, McLeod. How’s the stake-out going …?”

Lise tuned out, as John moved into the kitchen with the phone conversation. Something was bothering him, and it was likely to do with the bomb that had gone off in the house, with the large chunks of debris resulting from the process of almost-packing and almost-sorting. She’d understood that the house was going to be put onto the market. She’d also understood he was looking for a smaller place to live. She was trying to imagine what John Cardinal would be like by himself in an apartment.

She was jotting some conclusions in her notebook when she heard another ringtone. _That’s not mine. He’s on the phone. So, it must be Kelly. Where is it… Ah._

The red cell phone, or as John once called the “Kel-cel”, lay on the coffee table. She bit her lip, momentarily at a loss. Decision made, she put down her pen and notebook, and reached for the phone.

“Hi, Kelly.”

Startled by the unexpected answer, Kelly waited a beat before gathering her voice. “Lise?”

“Hi, Kelly. Sorry to startle you. Everything is okay here. Your Dad is on another call right now; a work call. Do you wanna call back? Or do you wanna leave a message?”

“No, I can call back. But actually, while I have you on the phone … do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, I do. What’s on your mind?”

“How is he doing? You know … since … “

“He’s fine, Kelly.”

“No, really, Lise. You don’t have to spare my feelings. Just tell me the truth, please. I worry about him.”

Lise looked towards the kitchen; John was still on his phone. “Where to start. I think he struggles sometimes. You know someone a long time, and suddenly, they’re gone. That sense of loss doesn’t disappear overnight. He’s also angry, that someone they trusted would make a contemptible mockery of that trust. He needs more time to process everything. And to top things off, he’s dealing with the house and all: it has to be stressful for him. At least, I imagine it would be stressful.”

“Last time we were on FaceTime, he looked really tired. I told him as much.”

“I think he’s having trouble sleeping through an entire night. I’m worried, too, Kelly.”

“I’m glad someone else is keeping an eye on him.”

A bloom of warmth shot through Lise, happy someone recognized it, and a little embarrassed Kelly was equallyperceptive. _Like father, like daughter._

“It’s no problem at all. I don’t mind.”

_Interesting,_ Kelly thought _.You really don’t mind, do you?_ “I think I’d like to come up to Algonquin Bay, and help him with the house.”

“Do you have the time? Didn’t you just start your first term at U of T?”

“I can handle it. I don’t think Dad will make a move on his own.”

_No, he won’t._ “Okay.”

“What do you think?”

“Well, I think it’s a good idea. It’ll be good for him to have you here. You can give him a push in the right direction.”

“Not that I’m complaining or maybe I’m just nosy, but … uhm … why are you at the house?”

“Oh. Well, we’re on a case, and …”

“Please tell me it’s not another murder. I swear, there has to be something in the water in Lake Nipissing …”

Lise chuckled. “No no. Actually, this case is nowhere as bad. You didn’t hear it from me, okay, but this case is about a series of robberies at some of the stores in town.”

“Well, that kind of a case would almost be relaxing to Dad.”

“Yes, it would. He’s good at this; everybody here knows it.”

“I know, it keeps him busy and distracted.”

“There is that, too; yes.”

“Okay, well, I have to get going. I wanna get some coffee before my Economics lecture.”

“This late in the day?”

“Yeah, this course has evening lectures, two nights every week.”

“I imagine that wasn’t your first choice.”

“No. But I’m first-year, right? Gotta take the lumps, gotta get the courses I need.”

“I remember that all too well. Calculus tormented me the most.”

“Huh, I find calculus to be a cake-walk compared to econ.”

“Look at you: a next-gen Cardinal thriving in university!”

“I’m enjoying college life. And I’m thrilled I don’t have to wear a uniform. I can live a fulfilled life if I don’t ever have to see a uniform ever again.”

Lise could almost hear the smile. “Yeah, me too; I don’t miss my Catholic school days. Nope.”

“There’s one more thing. I wanted to say: thanks, Lise. For everything.”

“What for?”

“For finding out what really happened to Mom. Dad was absolutely convinced, but he didn’t even let on he had his own doubts. If I had known what he was up to, I would’ve asked him to stop.”

“We tried to stop him, but you know how he is ….”

“I do …”

“It was rough on him, but I’m glad we found the answers. You deserved the truth: both of you.”

“Yeah. Like I said, thanks. And for looking after him.”

“You’re welcome.” _No use denying it, right?_

“Lise, it was nice to talk to you.”

“Same here, Kelly.”

“Maybe, uhm … if I come up to Algonquin Bay, can we meet for coffee? Just you and me?”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

“Okay, talk to you soon!”

“Bye!”

Lise pressed the “end call” button and put the phone back onto the coffee table. She stared at the phone, thinking about Kelly, marveling at the strength she had, then and now. _She’s definitely cut from the same cloth as John_.

While McLeod relayed details of the stake-out, John wandered from the kitchen to the steps at the bottom of the stairwell by the front door. He had quietly finished his call when he got up, turned around, and came upon Lise on the red cel-phone. He was several steps behind the couch with Lise facing away from him; she didn’t register his presence. What he realized was Lise on the phone with Kelly; he didn’t mean to snoop in on their conversation. Quietly stepping back towards the front door, he felt a little twinge of guilt. _Ah, okay, it’s ending; I don’t feel so bad. Not really. Sounded like a nice chat …_

“Hey.”

Lise almost jumped at the sound, fumbling for her pen and notebook. “Hey. What’s up with McLeod?”

“He and Kular were arguing about who makes the best muffins in town.”

“Wow. The stake-out that good tonight, eh?”

“Yeah. Pretty soon, they’ll be arguing about the best poutine.”

“For the record, there is no argument: French-Canadian food always wins.”

“And for the umpteenth time, I prefer shepherd’s pie.”

“That’s because you haven’t had **my** version of the Qubécois tourtière.”

A warm comfortable beat filled the space with their tentative smiles.

“Let’s get back to it.” John returned to his side of the couch, picked up his notebook, and flipped to the last page with the most recent notes.

“Yeah.” Lise watched him for a long moment, wondering if he’d overheard after all.


	2. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice must break, as the world in which we live demands that heat flows into cold.

The winter landscape in northern Ontario was commonly a sea of white, interrupted by small dark silhouettes of a farm, a house, power poles, or other vehicles on the road. They were signs of life and activity, reminders to all that the frigid desolation could be broken, and that the requirements for warmth and sustenance were always within reach.

The slow grind this week with endless rounds of classes, seminars, and tutorials had pushed Kelly to the limit, and she had decided on the spot to surprise her father with a visit to Algonquin Bay. Fortunately, the skies today were clear, and the drive north from Toronto was uneventful. Past the halfway mark on her trip, she stopped in Huntsville.

Meanwhile, outside the A.B.P.D., Lise was on a smoke break; she pulled her jacket tighter to retain precious warmth. _Another minus-20 day, another day with minus-30 windchill. I wonder what it’s like to work Homicide in say, Vancouver. It’s got to be almost tropical by comparison._ She nodded to several officers on their way into work this morning. With her phone ringing, she took one last puff, and crushed the cigarette on the ground.

“Delorme.”

"Hi, Lise. I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“Kelly! Hi! You caught me at just the right time; I’m outside on a break. But I should be back at my desk in a few minutes.”

“Smoking outside, are you?”

“How did you know? Oh wait, he told you …”

“Yes, he did. But did **you** know that he used to smoke?”

“What?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t smoked in years, but I remember when I was a kid, he was putting away a pack or two every day.”

“I had no idea. That explains a lot, why he gives me grief about it.”

“But when he and Mom moved back to Algonquin Bay, he stopped.“

“Ah. I see.”

“Anyway, I’m calling, because I’m on my way to Algonquin Bay right now. Don’t tell Dad; I want to surprise him.”

“I won’t say a word.”

“I found out you’re leaving; Dad told me you have a new job in Toronto. Congratulations!”

“Yes, I do. And thank you.”

“Are you excited?”

“Well, it’ll be a change. But it’s a good opportunity. And I get to be back in Toronto again.”

“Speaking from purely selfish reasons, it’ll be good to see you here.”

“I know. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Hey, can I ask you something about your new job?”

Lise was curious at where this was leading. “Yes; ask away.”

“What did Dad say when you told him about it?”

“He congratulated me and said I’d do well in Toronto.”

“That’s it? That’s all he said?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Well, he likes working with you.”

“I’m sure he would’ve said the same for anybody else.”

“No, Lise. It’s not the same.”

Lise let that and all other thoughts of possibility hang in the air. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll miss him. I mean, I’ll miss working with him … ”

Kelly took a small leap. “You know … you and I, we could both keep an eye on him, if he were to … say … move to Toronto?”

Kelly heard it, that deep quiet sigh from the other end. At least, there was no denial or outright rejection on Lise’s part. _That’s a good sign._ Kelly let it go for now and cleared her throat. “Hey, did you hear? We sold the house.”

“Uh yeah, your Dad told me. Do you know what he's going to do next?”

“He’s looking at other places, at least for the time being.”

“I think he’s having trouble easing into that small apartment in town. At least it’s brand new.”

“Hmm, I need to see it for myself. On our video chats, he refuses to show me what his place looks like.”

“Yup, that’s totally your Dad.”

“I just stopped for gas in Huntsville, and I wanna get into town in time to do some shopping. So, I’m gonna let you go. Wanna grab a coffee while I’m in town? Whenever you can; I know you’re both on a big case.”

“Yes, that would be great. Text me when you get to your Dad’s place, kay? And drive safe, Kelly.”

“I will. Bye!”

“Bye.”

Resuming her drive north on highway 11, Kelly’s thoughts wandered back to her father. She wondered when winter arrived whether his character would transform and become synonymous with the season of ice. It broke her heart, because she could see he was slipping away into a dark empty vacuum. She could not and would not accept losing another parent.

Faced with her Dad in his unpacked unsettled apartment and the enormity of considering the potential for loss, she wept. For her father, and for her mother. But her mother was gone, and he was all she had left. And Kelly was determined to find a way to make her Dad happy again.

“Look, Dad: whatever your plan is, you can’t just let Lise walk out of your life …”

John waited until his daughter’s sobs eased.

“No, I can’t.” He released his hold on Kelly. “But … I … I feel … stuck.”

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You’re not alone. Let’s talk about this; let’s try to work through this.”

“Right there, you sounded like your Mom.”

“Well? Am I right? Was she right?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not a burden to me. Let me help you.”

“Okay, well, can we start … now?”

“Yeah. I’m going to make some tea. Do you want some?”

“Yes. Please.”

Removing his jacket and dumping it at the dining table, he went over to the couch. The couch was another workspace, and he cleared some papers into one of the boxes below.

Kelly brought a tray with a teapot, two mugs, two teaspoons, a small pitcher of milk, and a jar of local honey. She found him, staring out the window and into the distance.

John looked up from his contemplation. “You really have been busy shopping.”

“I knew you didn’t have any tea, a teapot, or honey, so I picked them up today.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The next couple of minutes included the gentle tinkling sounds of tea and preparation to taste.

“I think this is it, Kelly. I mean it. I think this case is it. I’m going to file my papers after we’re done with this case.”

“What makes this time different?”

“I’m tired. I mean, I’m really tired of finding and staying in the deep end. I know what happens when I’m … fully invested in a murder case. You know, Kel, at one time, I was worried about who was coming up next, you know, after me. But I realized that wasn’t my problem; that’s not even in my pay-grade of things to consider. I could try and move up, but meetings and paperwork? No. But this … this case is …”

“I’m an adult; whatever you can tell me, I can handle it.”

“I know you can. Well, there are aspects of … this case … that are … well, you know I can’t talk about the details … but … they … they’re hitting me much harder … than they would have before. It’s what people are capable of doing, when they have the time, the means, when they hold onto pure rage. I mean … I always knew that, but this time it’s different. And now …” He shook his head, trying to stay in the moment. “And now, Lise … she … she’s leaving.”

“I want to table that for the time being. First of all, if you really intend to retire, where do you want to live? Do you want to stay here, in this apartment?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I was thinking about a little place on the western shores of Nipissing. It’s a little rustic; could use some work. I’ve begun drawing up some designs about the ideas I have for the place.”

“What will you do there?”

“Retire in peaceful isolation. With my years of service, I’ll do all right. I’ll read, fix; read some more, fix some more. Maybe sneak in a little writing.”

“Well, that does sound like something, Dad. At least with something, I can worry less about you. But for me, you’ll be even farther away. So, I have another alternative for you.”

“And that is?”

“You can come back to Toronto.”

“I don’t wanna cramp your style. Or your life.”

“No, stop. I’m telling you: I’d really like it if you were in the city.”

“What would I do there?”

“With your pension, you can do exactly the same thing in Toronto, as you would next to Lake Nipissing.”

“Minus the boat.”

“Well, yeah. But, much closer to your ever loving daughter.”

“True.”

“And if we’re being totally honest, having you in Toronto means …”

“… we can go to baseball games again and … ”

“… and be closer to Lise. What do you think about that?”

“She’s going to be great down there.”

“Dad, you told me that already. Stop ignoring it, and answer my question.”

“I think she’s better off without me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Being partnered with me has been a hit to her career. She should’ve already moved to Ottawa or Toronto since the summer.”

“You don’t know that for sure. And have you considered the possibility she stayed here for you?”

“I have.”

“And?”

“I feel guilty about it.”

“It’s not your fault. None of it. And besides, she chose to be here. She chose to stay.”

“And also about your mother …”

“Mom’s gone.”

“I know … but …”

“Dad, okay, maybe, this is going to be hard for you to hear. You and Mom were together for a long time, and …”

“I know where you’re going with this, Kel, and …”

“Please. Just let me finish, okay, Dad?”

“Okay.”

“You were together for a long time, and I know how much you loved each other. It’s how I became the person I am today.”

He smiled at his daughter: a brave strong woman with a lot of love to give. “I’m proud of you. I don’t think I’ve said it enough. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad. But I’m not done. So … things began changing with Mom, and over time, she became a different person. And that usually depended on her mood swings, the time of the week, her meds, and so on. You stayed because you felt a deep sense of loyalty to the woman you knew and loved.”

“Yes.”

“None of it is your fault or hers.”

“I know.”

“She’s gone, Dad. I think that because she loved you, Mom would’ve wanted you to move on.”

“Letting go isn’t easy.”

“No, it isn’t. But you have to let me help you. You and me, we’re all we’ve got.”

“How’d you get so wise?”

She sniffled; she dug out a tissue and wiped her nose. “Since forever.”

“Hmmm. I understand what you’re saying.”

“But?”

“No ‘but’. All I’m saying is … is that letting go means a lot of things. Letting go of your Mom, her things, letting go of the house we bought together.”

Kelly nodded. “Well, good thing the house is sold. And most of Mom’s things are gone, too. What’s stopping you?”

He paused, slowly recognizing some clarity. “Uh … me … I guess … I guess it’s me.”

“See, that’s why you need me. Me who loves you, and to tell you how things are, and how they’re supposed to be.”

“Okay.”

“And it’s also because I need you, too.”

“I know, Kel.”

“This might sound weird, coming from me. You have feelings for Lise, don't you.” It wasn't a question. Kelly patiently waited for his response, keeping her eyes on him, seeing reluctance, conflict, and guilt in his eyes.

“I do. Do you think it’s a .. little strange?”

“It’s not weird at all. I know there’s something going on between you. I mean, it’s not all PDAs and like that, but I know she means something to you, something more. Dad, have you told her how you feel?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m … we’re not exactly the most vocal … about this kind of thing … “

“Why don’t you tell her?”

“I’m not the person she needs.”

Kelly paused. “You don't know that. Until you talk to her. And you deserve to be happy.”

“Maybe. It’s hard sometimes for me to think that way.”

“Yeah well, I’m your daughter, and I’m telling you, that you should believe you can have joy in your life.”

“I have you, Kel.”

“Come on, Dad; you know what I mean.”

“I do."

“You don’t want her to leave.”

“No.”

“Why don’t you tell her?”

“But …”

“No ‘buts’, Dad; just tell her. You won’t regret telling her how you feel.”

“I might regret what happens afterwards.”

“You can’t control everything, and you certainly don’t control Lise.”

“No, of course not.”

“Maybe you need to have a little faith, in yourself and with Lise.”

“Hmm.”

“Does that mean you’re going to tell her?”

“Hmm, soon.”

“I think your definition of ‘soon’ needs some work. Because didn’t you tell me she’s leaving ‘soon’? Promise me you’ll tell her.”

“Promise.”

“And make your ‘soon’ happens, before the ’soon’ of her leaving.”

“I said, I promise, Kel.”

“Uh huh. Don’t do it for me.” She held onto his hands. “Whatever happens, Dad; I promise you it’ll be okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.Are we good, Dad?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” He opened his arms, giving his daughter another warm hug.

“Great.” She walked over to the open door into the small bedroom next to the kitchen. “Can we talk about what you have stored in here? This is supposed to be a second bedroom. You know, where people sleep.”

“C’mon, Kel: cut me a little slack.”

“No, Dad … you know that’s not going to happen.”

“Well, okay, but listen, I have to get back to work.”

“Fine. Five minutes, tops. Here’s what I have in mind for this stuff … god, Dad, look at all this junk …”

John shook his head, a small knowing grin at his daughter’s insistence.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please click on the "Kudos ❤" button below, and leave a comment; I'd love to hear from you.


End file.
